Okay, so I don't really have writer's block, but I do have a bit of inner turmoil over what to do with this blog. The original plan was to write about my life since the accident, starting with the day of the accident. This means that I have tons of catching up to do in order to fill in the blanks from the last seventeen months. However, I've also been wanting to write a book (doesn't that sound cliche!) about this whole ordeal for quite some time. Because I was so unmotivated, not to mention scared @$#%-less, of taking on such a seemingly impossible endeavor, I decided to take baby steps by starting this blog instead.
I had hoped that by writing a blog, I would finally have a less intimidating outlet for recording my little dramatic history, and that by the time I caught up on those seventeen months, then...Voila! My book would be written!
But now I'm feeling like that's a very backwards approach. I mean, isn't a blog supposed to be written in the present tense, as one records his/her daily thoughts/activities/theories? And isn't a book written in retrospect? I feel like I'm a bit late in the game.
So now I'm trying to decide where to go with this. Do I dive into this blog, slowly type out my history, and then finally print it out, pat myself on the back, and mail it off to various publishing houses? Or do I suck it all up, tear myself away from my current paperback-reading, reality TV-watching lifestlye, leave you all hanging with "And...blackness.....," and finally sit down and write the damn book already? And am I wrongly feeling a sense of self-entitlement, as if anyone even flippin' cares what I do or whether I write a book or not or even if anyone gives a crap about my story in the first place?
These are some things I need to work through, and until I make a decision, I am leaving the December 2008 blog section as-is. Whatever decision I make, I will still continue with this blog, even if it is just May 2010 onwards.
What to do???
I care, but you need to do what you think is best for you. If I have to wait for it to come out on paperback, I will.
ReplyDeleteI think the concerns about feelings of self-entitlement accompany any work we decide to put "out there". I for one hope you continue your "history"- (1) because its fascinating and probably good for you to debrief this time and (2) because I'm secretly plotting to eventually invite you to come and talk with the disabled orphans that we work with here in St. Petersburg. I think your experience can be such an encouragement for them- because you can empathize far more than my wife and I. Keep the posts coming, Tiffany.
ReplyDelete-Charlie
IMHO..don't worry about the order of how things come out..write what you feel..when its time to put it all together someday, it will happen...if its the past that you are recalling, write that, if its the present..write that..sometimes you start writing something and it takes a different turn than what you expected..including the order, and sometimes the outcome....whatever that will be, you will find it in time :-) ...don't worry about who wants to read it or why...do it for yourself first, which I think you are doing anyway... I am sure you even the blog now is likely an incredible inspiration to many others
ReplyDeleteFor now...consider it the moon and star alignment causing the block..I've been uninspired for a few weeks now as well..although my blog isn't near as interesting as yours!!!
xo
- Pam
I agree with Pam, let it have a natural flow of recalling the past and discussing the present and it will be keep everyone updated as well as fill in the blanks at the same time hopefully serving its purpose of letting you write it all down - in fact that's probably how it would come out in a book anyway, it wouldn't be a daily journal, it would be flashes of both time periods... whatever you feel, as Pam said, and we're all here listening either way :)
ReplyDeleteI am definitely pumped for the book. You are a natural! xo
ReplyDelete